Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
