My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
