yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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