Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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