i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
