What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
