dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
