Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
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