i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
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