I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
