these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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