someone threw a dead crab at me
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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