Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
