my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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