I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
and she was petting her beer can
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
