I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
