I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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