So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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