We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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