I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
