Heybabeimwearingurpanties
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
