Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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