Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
