just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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