So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
