STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
