I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I am one with the molecules
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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