shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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