I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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