Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
