Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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