he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
