Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Pants are for mortals
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