Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
