That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hippo gnu deer
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I don't want my vagina anymore.
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