Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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