Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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