I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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