Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
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Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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