i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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