if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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