it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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