will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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