walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize