Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
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