I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
