The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
