My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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