A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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