Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
