i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
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That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
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I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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