After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
