If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
