I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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