He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
