Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
