GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize