Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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