i barfeds in our rink
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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