Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Boobs are out for the taking
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
