so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I think my moral compass just broke
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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