Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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