What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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