Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
