haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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