my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
