I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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