So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
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I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
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I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.