about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped