I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.