Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.